Model Text Recipe

Part 2: Making a Recipe for Your Model Text (not sure if we're supposed to make this for our own project's audience or that of the model text; was absent from class on Thursday)

Instructions for Making a Literary Collage for Marian Girls

*Ingredients:

1) a research/critical question to be explored through the collage

2) various quotes from a diverse set of speakers (opinions should only be homogeneous when appropriate)

3) images: photos (to illustrate instead of to tell), charts/graphs (to explain something in a concise manner)

4) Other modes: dialogue, art, a distinct font for frequent voices (ESPECIALLY the author's)

*Steps:

1) find an exploratory question for the collage, type it in centered alignment at the very top of the first page (in the author's distinct font)

2) find a quote and/or series of quotes that will "hook" the reader, and put them in conversation with one another (imagery can be utilized here as well)

3) scatter the alignment of modes in a fragmented way, but keep related ideas aligned in a way that "responds" to the previous quotes

4) when you feel as if a certain conversation has run its course, transition with either a fitting quote (addresses both the previous conversation and the coming one) or with a similar mode; or, ask a question as the author (in the proper font) that transitions appropriately

5) these conversations from which you transition should be increasingly important to your "So what?'

6) If a quote, image, or personal idea of yours seems central to the collage, center it in the middle of an otherwise blank page (negative space).

7) quotes can start to genuinely agree with one another as you reach your conclusion; you can also, as the author, start to draw conclusions from this elaborate discussion with a less inquisitive and more certain tone

8) arrive at your own conclusion; this should not directly solve all of the complications posed by your critical question and everything in between, but rather, make a statement or two utilizing everything that was brought to the table in the collage

9) citations can be in-text, footnoted, or, if each source speaks in a distinct enough font and/or color, use that as a sort of footnote for the works cited page

Part 1: Analyzing Your Model Text (I did this first, but it's long, so I'm putting the recipe first.)

1) modes: text, format (spacing and alignment), font size, font color, images, quotes, song lyrics (not sure if those are under the "quotes" umbrella), poetry (though very informal and choppy)

2) Audience

a) Who? Young women, mainstream feminists, pop culture followers, Beyonce fans (I am in this audience, although I might perceive this differently if I were a more heavy-duty Beyonce fan; I would understand the song lyrics better)

b) Pronouns:
-"we": author only uses this pronoun when asking questions to the audience (herself included); these questions are central to important transitions in the collage (these challenge the audience to consider the personal and societal implications of claims)
-"she": author uses this only when talking ironically about Beyonce and considering opposing feminist criticisms of Beyonce; utilizes a variety of boldface, italics, and plain font together here (these paint a picture of Beyonce in each light for the audience)

c) Author's construction of relationship with audience:
-The author asks significant questions without exhausting the audience, and also makes herself relatable to the audience through both serious and sarcastic comments about the ideas entertained by both sides of the argument (a way of actively considering different views).

d) Words/phrases that stand out (imagining the audience):
-calls Beyonce "Bey" and "Queen Bey"
-"Not all haters, right?" (uses lyrics to make a point, audience understands reference)


3) Authorial Identity:

a) How author constructs reader relationship using her identity:
-is open to different interpretations of sexuality (lets the reader know that she isn't judgmental)
-calls Beyonce by nicknames (author evidently follows Beyonce)
-casually prompts and entertains feminist ideas (reader knows author is a feminist, but no deeper set of those beliefs)

b) Author's use of "I" or "me":
-doesn't use either, but compensates with casual, personable, and often funny interjections


4) Purpose:

a) The author's purpose in writing is to engage the audience in a discussion about powerful females in pop culture, their use of sexuality, and how this relates to the flexibility of feminist tenets. The author hopes to achieve a view of Beyonce as a powerful woman who owns her sexuality, which feminists should not judge but rather embrace. She wants people to think critically yet be open minded about female sexuality, in a feminist backdrop.

b) Sentence(s) first indicating author's argument:

JUST STOP BEY; YOU JUST DON’T LOOK THE RIGHT WAY.

-This sentence falls on page four (out of nine). Here, the author is sarcastic and implicitly lets the audience know that she isn't a fan of telling any woman how they should look and dress. The sentence is an interjection into a page of quotes/arguments criticizing Beyonce's use of her attractiveness and sexuality in music videos, etc.

c) Sentence in which author most clearly states her purpose/argument:

women own their bodies

This isn't so much a sentence as an unprecedented, informal response to a feminist critique of Beyonce's "flashes of side boob.) This response falls on page five, in the middle of some of the harshest criticisms of Beyonce's use of her own sexuality.

5) Outside research/secondary sources:
The collage is packed with various quotes by celebrities, ordinary women, and mainstream feminist scholars. The quotes are put in conversation with one another.

6) Organization:

a) text organization/transition from one idea to the next:
-alignment varies with each quote
-puts the most important statements and quotes in centered alignment
-allows quotes to compete with/feed off of one another for about a page (with a few casual interjections), then uses discussion produced by quotes to question the audience and/or make a bold statement in order to transition from one idea to the next

b) language/words used by author to connect ideas:
-uses choppy interjections between quotes to connect them to her own views; usually sarcastically entertaining the ideas offered by the quotes


7) Genre:

a) This genre is called a literary collage, where the author utilizes various modes (most importantly, diverse quotes) in order to create a sort of discussion about a topic (which the author states in the form of a question at the very beginning of the collage) in an exploratory fashion.

b) conventions:
-author uses her own inquisitive voice to interpret and/or entertain the ideas offered by the other modes
-author's voice is incorporated into the collage, but not too often (let the modes do most of the talking)
-author starts out as completely objective and then, as more knowledge is contributed by the other modes, grows more outspoken (whether implicitly or explicitly)
-question to be explored in the collage is centered at the top of the very beginning of the text
-author's voice is distinct to the reader, often through a specific font, font size, font color, and/or alignment
-other modes (typically but not limited to) speech, dialogue, poetry, and various images are scattered across the page with no particular spacing and alignment patterns (fragmented)
-modes and author's voice are at times distributed within a page of otherwise negative space for emphasis


8) Images:

a) how author uses images in the text:
-utilizes photos of Beyonce in various lights and settings (even a meme); these aren't overused
-author sometimes juxtaposes seemingly divergent photos of Beyonce to emphasize her ideas

b) author lets photos speak for themselves; they emphasize and complicate her argument without her having to explicitly say so; images are only of Beyonce
-since her purpose is to view Beyonce as a powerful woman in pop culture who owns her sexuality, the collage concludes with a royalty-looking photo of Beyonce (red and gold colors in the image pop out to the reader; red = sexual and gold = powerful?)

c) All images are photos of Beyonce.
d) The author might have done this in order to keep herself and the various aspects of the collage on track to her larger point (structure).

e) Photos of Beyonce looking fierce are surrounded by quotes about Beyonce as empowered (same goes for quotes about Beyonce being too promiscuous)


9) reverse outline
conclusion (Beyonce is powerful, owns her body and sexuality) --> quotes focus solely on why it's wrong to criticize Beyonce in a judgmental feminist light --> "feminisms begin to chatter" about Beyonce as submissive to her husband --> Beyonce is shown to care about societal aesthetic pressures on girls --> Beyonce doesn't care (nor does she need to) about her feminist identification --> Beyonce on feminism --> definition of feminism --> initial question: "What happens when Beyonce says she's a feminist?"
-author uses the growing sense of contempt for Beyonce within the quotes as an invitation to step in, defend Beyonce's sexuality, and make her point without seeming too assertive throughout the collage; makes it seem as if she was provoked to do so


10) Document Design and Layout:

a) author uses Cambria font, sizes 10-12 (but predominantly 12)

b) Some quotes are boldfaced or italicized to distinguish the speaker, but when it's the author's voice, italics and boldface are used for emphasis. Here, the author's use of italics and especially boldface increases as the collage moves closer to the conclusion.

c) Text is fragmented on the pages, with various alignments. Most quotes are short, but a few of the longer ones are centered, often on their own page (negative space).

d) Only colors come from the photos and the author's words, which are in blue (all other text is black). I'm not sure about the significance of the color blue, but the contrast let's the reader know when the author is speaking.

e) Aside from the fragmented array of

                    modes, the author sometimes makes 

a quote look like this.

(this is only when the author is speaking)

Multimodal Project Proposal

My critical question asks, "What is the relationship between the term 'feminism' and the progression of women?" In this project, I seek to unpack the intricate layers of "feminism/feminist" with respect to feminist theory/criticism, popular culture, political culture, and the personal, in a way that sheds light on the urgency of the decline of "feminism" in our own discourse. I want to illustrate the ways in which this mere word has been swept under the rug of taboo in such a way that this powerful movement was manipulated through language, rhetoric, and associations.
I want the audience to take from the text(s) that the feminist self-identification paradox is a problem because it necessitates incessant clarification of the classic dictionary definition of feminism (advocacy for political, social, and economic equality for women to men). This dilutes the intricate layers of feminism and its all-encompassing contributions made (certainly) in the past and (hopefully) in the future. I want the audience to get angry about the rhetorical manipulation of feminism, in part because of the individuals who denounce it in past and present. I want them, in essence, to feel galvanized to "take back" feminism by reintroducing it into their own discourse.
This audience may be too specific, but the students of Marian High School seems extremely congruent with my ideas. The single-sex Catholic high school's mantra, "Confident, Independent, Thinking Leaders," fosters an empowering environment in which the smartest girls are the most admired girls. In fact, the girls who achieve, serve, and act on their passions are appraised. These young women are predominantly white and upper-middle class, but generations of Marian moms and grandmas bring families to push their finances and send their daughters to Marian as a priority. Students wear blue polos and matching plaid skirts, but beyond that, presentation is viewed as pointless and inhibiting. At Marian, no one really cares how pretty you are. Academics and a sense of competition are central concerns to a majority of these students. They are evidently Catholic in majority, but other Christian denominations are not rare. These girls make the commute to school from no particular Omaha location. Their age range runs from about fourteen to eighteen years old.
I plan to execute all of this through the genre of "literary collage," which utilizes space, fragmentation, and quotes put into conversation with one another. It can employ various modes such as images, gifs, and poems. To my understanding, the conventions of a literary collage include the aforementioned description as well as the author's own inquisitive, interpretive voice as a proportionate but not excessive voice within the conversation of the quotes and modes. 
Within this genre's framework, I would certainly utilize images as a mode: historical photos, advertisements, symbols, infographics, and artwork. I am unsure as to whether or not any of these count as distinct modes. My own contributions to the collage's conversation would use text as a mode. The quotations and dialogue would constitute modes as well (to my understanding). I could also employ audio and video modes of speeches, rallies, or whatever discover. Further options include gifs and other weird Internet novelties. I'm not concerned about finding and incorporating different modes so much as understanding what does and does not meet the requirement for a "mode."
I am also concerned that a literary collage won't be seen as enough of a real-world genre for the standards of this project. However, I think that depends on complexity of quotations used and the extent to which the collage flows in an understandable way. Additionally, I think my audience can handle it. I'm open to giving up this genre if it doesn't work for this project, but I think it could be awesome. I composed and learned about literary collage in ENGL151 during the Spring 2015 semester, and the professor gave us a few model texts. A specific one of those models could be a model text for me not because it talks about feminism and Beyonce, but because it illustrates a smart conversation in a structure that is nonetheless easy to follow. I have it sitting here under my browser but I don't think I can upload the document to Blogger. I will email it to you or upload it to Dropbox, per your request. Let me know what you think!

Project Proposal and Preparing for Interview/Observation

Responding to Questions:

My critical question asks, "What is the relationship between the term "feminism" and the progression of women?"

I plan to study the group comprising Section 501 of ENGL254: Writing&Communities, which meets Mondays through Fridays from 11:00 AM to 12:35 PM. I want to study a seminar-like classroom environment, which already conflicts with the allotted time for weekend observation. I would be open to studying another similar class, but this one was the only one I could find that was operating during this session. I would also have to miss at least an hour of our own class time in order to conduct the initial observation, for which I would be willing to use one of the two absences I have left (although an exception would certainly be appreciated.) If you know of any other classes that don't conflict with our class time, please let me know.

I think it would be too obvious to study a Women and Gender Studies class (which has some summer courses during this session), and this ENGL254 class seems to encompass a seminar environment with relevant topics such that the students should have something to say. I chose to study a seminar-like classroom in general (thanks for the idea, Nicole) because the exchange of ideas and interaction among these undergraduate students would constitute  an appropriate as well as interesting environment for observation. My hope is that the nature of the course will produce some dialogue from students about issues and aspects of those issues they find relevant, and that the environment will yield meaningful student interaction between these young men and women. Further, I feel that this group's interaction should manifest the attitudinal side of the feminist paradox, namely the concern for equality and empowerment irrespective of gender, as well as more general egalitarian concerns (or lack thereof).
I seek to observe not only the elucidation of these attitudes in the classroom, but also the demeanor of students as they choose or decline to interact with one another. I don't want to scrutinize the beliefs held by these students so much as to evaluate the feminist paradox (the pervasive disconnect between concern for feminist tenets and identification as a feminist). I've been evaluating the literature about the feminist paradox with respect to college students, and I'm intrigued by the literature's incorporation of label theory and social identification theory. Importantly, in an academic setting, the feminist aspect of empowerment is central to this pivotal time for students as undergraduates.

To my knowledge, I have no personal relationship with this group, except that I am an undergraduate student currently enrolled in an English writing-centered course.

In order to set up this observation, I will converse with the professor in his/her office. If the professor's office hours conflict with my schedule, I will send an email. If permitted, I would like to wait until after my first observation to decide which students to interview. I would either approach the students before/after their class or email them, per the professor's preference.


"If you are doing an Ethnography of a group..."

3 possible questions for various group members:
1) Which social issues are important to you personally, and why?
2) How do you feel about the term "feminism"?
3) How has your college experience influenced your perceptions of gender?

I hope to conduct my first observation in a class as soon as possible. However, given the conflict with both the allotted weekend time to begin the observation and our own class time, I will need to hammer out those details before scheduling the initial observation.

What I'll be looking for in my observations:
-student interactions (especially between male and female students)
-student attitudes about issues and/or class material
-students' demeanor when speaking up in class

My iPhone cameras are broken, so I will need to use either my boyfriend's phone or someone's MP3 recorder to record my observations.

Responding to Podcasts and Brainstorming

Part 1:

The "Summer Camp" podcast is an example of an ethnography because it seeks to answer a critical question about the distinct gap between camp-lovers and camp-haters in America through observations of and interviews with "camp people." The podcast is organized into six "notes about camp," each of which deals with a different aspect of camp. This structure allowed each "note" to dive deeper into its own subject in a way that uniquely contributed to the listener's understanding of camp. I was very intrigued by this podcast because it reminds me of a conviction that was closely held by author Kurt Vonnegut, who also studied Anthropology: human beings thrive in large, extended families and/or small, close-knit communities. I could also personally relate to the tension between American camp culture's insensitive use of "Fake Indian-ness" and the business of camp, wherein those Native American rituals and terms are very popular among campers such that they keep coming back for them every summer. I recall distancing myself from my favorite day camp as a child after the closely held yet politically incorrect traditions were eliminated.
The "Becoming Batman" podcast is an example of a profile because it closely observes a highly accomplished blind man, Daniel Kish, in order to shed light on the psychological influence of expectations on performance and the responsibility of society to shift those expectations when they are holding people back. I genuinely felt drawn in and connected to Kish's experience when he detailed his childhood memories, especially those of his first encounter with another blind child, Adam. This podcast greatly intrigued me for many reasons, from the fascinating psychological finding about expectations to the neuroscience of the clicking-blind-brain's visual cortex, which illustrated the urgency of a cultural shift of expectations for the blind because their learning to "see" becomes much harder with age. "Becoming Batman" took a very broad concept--expectations--and effectively sharpened its importance to a personal level before broadening it back again to highlight the connection to larger society. 

Part 2:
I'm ninety-eight percent positive that I would like this project to be an ethnography. However, I'm afraid that my "group" will end up being too large. For example, a feasible as well as an interesting group would be female undergraduate students here at UNL. I don't know which location on campus would be meaningful to my critical question as opposed to random. I definitely want to get some diverse opinions on feminism, specifically whether these women identify as feminists, why, and what has influenced their opinions. I would also be sure to ask them how important they feel the feminist cause is in terms of societal consensus. I think this would contribute to my critical question in the sense that, in terms of organization, divisive issues like abortion prevent women from uniting and rising up; unification is crucial for social change. I would like to gauge these women's thoughts and feelings about gender equality in 2015 America, and how those sentiments relate to their own perceptions of feminism. Understanding what and/or who influences these women's ideas of feminism could, additionally, bring some clarity to the many answers to my critical question. The undergraduate identity of this group could also bring college rape culture into the modern relevance of feminism. I'm unsure as to how the scope of this group will meet the appropriate standards for a quality ethnography.

Writing Marathon

Setting 1: Between Kimball Hall and Architecture Hall
This magnificent setting is appropriately lacking in the abundance of people that typically constitutes UNL City Campus. I am surrounded by art and nature as communicated by all five of my senses. Every few minutes, a biker glides past my post, gazing at the unconventional sculptures and marveling at the shocking teal water in the modest fountain. The beauty of this place is validated by a small-scale photo shoot of a woman in a pure white dress. Adjacent to this simple yet elegant backdrop sits a studious young man, although he seems unsettled by the nearby photography. From afar he appears to embody a quiet demeanor, merely a man of aesthetically pleasing routine and introversion.
This artwork is destined for gazing. The structures themselves seem to scream at passers by, while the artistic intent is shrouded in convolution. A biker stops, his head does a slow 180; he doesn't know how his fitness trek led him here, but he'll stop and look around for awhile. It's lovely to see so much absorption and appreciation in a college setting, where output is so often demanded.

Setting 2: Runza at the Union
An NSE group has a circled sit-down while the red-collared leaders attempt to break open the students' durable shells. This fast food restaurant invites an unprecedented scholarly environment. Technology and greasy Runzas complement each other at every table. Against the focused backdrop, a young man sporting red shorts dines on a juicy cheeseburger combo with merely headphones tucked into his ears. His phone to which the headphones are connected is absent from his essence; he simply eats and calmly observes the strange setting surrounding him. Visitors visit. Students study. New students don't yet understand that they are sitting shyly in what will become their comfort zone, their home stretch: the Nebraska Union.

Setting 3: The Union Fountain
This fountain is refuge. A defeated blonde student sets her feet in the bouncing water, wringing all of her news feeds dry. The mother who works alongside peppy college girls at the Union Starbucks spends her break alone, with an iced Starbucks beverage and her pink iPhone. Her collared shirt, tailored pants, and dark-rimmed glasses confirm her peculiar adulthood, but she emanates the unbridled youth with which she works, whether she knows it or not. A thoughtful college boy with neat dreadlocks and a swirling blue shift stares longingly at the thin crowds of people passing by. A condescending boy going on man looks down on the flood of new faces, confirming the stereotype that his chiseled features, pressed white button-up, and thick pleated black pants leave open for interpretation.

Question Draft Two and Artifact Free Write

Part 1:
What is the relationship between the term "feminism" and the progression of women? This is the critical question on which I have settled. First and foremost, this question is certainly meaningful to me, as I have often been criticized for being "too much of a feminist," as if believing in gender equality was indicative that I would spontaneously start eating the face of every male in the room. The relationship I question here also directly concerns the larger society: the progress of women (wage equality, the political and professional gender gap, the failure to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment), respecting female icons (identify strong famous women and evaluate their views on feminism), and the status of gender roles in contemporary American culture. This could also connect to reprehensible sexism in less fortunate parts of the world (i.e., where girls are not allowed to get an education) in that, by demonstrating the remnants of sexism in America despite its advancements thus far, this country should feel obligated to lead the world by example simply because it has the resources and the proper system in which to do so. My critical question also has multiple answers, much to my dismay, insofar as clarifying and instilling the often misconstrued definition of men and women (the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men) is very likely not the panacea for gender inequality in America and certainly not across the globe. Words are very powerful and can change the nature of an issue's discussion, but only actions will invite change.The answers to my question run deeper than words and into some of the age-old linings of our social fabric. There are also a plethora of subquestions that my critical question poses: What does feminism mean to women? To men? How do famous men and women influence our society's perception of feminism? Is feminism dead? If not, then why do we need it? Etc. My question is not too broad because it addresses both a key term to reference in discussion as well as a relevant demographic. Nor is it too specific; the answers are already convoluted because of the distinction between actions and words, and the question could be framed around multiple societies. Finally, the question does not contain my value judgments. The only thing the question presumes is a relationship between feminism and the advancement of women, but I believe that anybody could perceive such a connection. For my first project, I will focus on my own frustration with being misunderstood as a feminist, and how identifying myself as a feminist colors both my views and how others view me. I also THINK that I will use a powerful woman in the media as my artifact and connect her views on feminism with my own and of those around me. For my second project, I am considering an interview of some sort with a professor in UNL's Women and Gender Studies Program, preferably one who is well-versed in the widely held perceptions of women in our society today. And I believe that my third project will aim to emphasize the importance of finishing the job of gender equality at home in order to set an example for actually starting the many necessary jobs abroad.

Part 2: Artifacts

1) my Hillary Clinton nutcracker
2) Beyoncé
3) the poor old Equal Rights Amendment
4) a power suit and heels
5) a tampon
6) Malala Yousafzai
7) Taylor Swift
8) a burning bra (associated with the 1960s women's rights movement)
9) the "Meninist" Twitter account meme
10) Miley Cyrus

What feminism means to me is properly explained with reference to the cultural artifact of a tampon. The convoluted controversy over the meaning and necessity of feminism is fueled in part by the notion that America in 2015 is the best it’s ever been for women, and is therefore good enough to throw in the towel of social change. A tampon sitting out in broad daylight is an elephant in the room, an object that incites shame about a biological fact experienced by over half of the United States population. Of course, I cannot even fathom being a woman before the invention of the tampon, and I am genuinely grateful that menstrual innovation has come so far. But why are strong, outspoken women too often dismissed as "probably on their period"? It seems as if the taboo of an unconcealed tampon represents a difference and a misunderstanding between men and women. The female reproductive reality manifests a deep-seated societal explanation for women who refuse to sit back politely, "like a lady." Take a tampon out of your purse, unabashed, and you're merely offering a justification for your unladylike behavior.

Why, when emphatic women are crossed, is it so easy to see her as an "ice queen" or PMSing or menopausal or, to put it quite frankly, as a "bitch"? If it is so difficult to respect rather than attack women who refuse to sit on the sidelines with their legs crossed, then imagine how comparably reserved women feel. Well, they’re probably not going into politics where they are desperately needed, and they’re definitely not going to run for president. And in this instance, the progression of women is hindered because the burden is often placed on women to fill the political gender gap themselves, which allegedly exists because not enough women run for office. 

I have participated in many heated political debates, especially with respect to women’s rights. When I appear too invested, the guys don’t counter with an argument; they tell me to calm down, as if I’m an emotionally unstable maniac who may spontaneously combust. Afterwards, I don’t feel ashamed so much as dejected, like my passion for equality is lost in translation. It makes me feel… like a lost, misunderstood tampon.

Critical Question Draft and Free Write

Part 1:

In the third floor stacks at Love Library, I look to my right and see a wealth of thick books resting on parallel floors that stretch to the ceiling. The titles on the majority of them are too small for my eyes to distinguish; one says something about social security, another about labor, one about industry, and another about business and some normative claim about employee benefits. Capitalism seems omnipresent.

Normally, I have profound shower epiphanies. However, when I showered this morning at 8:25, those meager three hours of sleep I had mustered were failing to withstand rumination before I had my coffee.

I try not to think while I’m falling asleep; otherwise, I’ll remember that I’m trying to sleep and that thought alone will destroy my chances. This is my personal brand of insomnia.
I'm a mega-nerd who manages to fall in love with most of my classes, but AP Government stole my heart as a junior in high school. It is to date the hardest class I have taken, but Mr. Baker revolutionized not my political views but my sense of civic duty. Whenever we complained about either the workload or the annoying trivialities of American politics, he would simply retort, "If you don't understand what controls government, then government controls you." I have done my best to be an informed citizen ever since.
 My most recent interpersonal quarrel involved one of my best friends, who had opted yet again to give the manipulative, cheating, and emotionally abusive man she somehow loves another chance to treat her the way she deserves. We argued because I knew that he was only doing so much (“changing”) to get her back, as previously demonstrated, because he hadn’t been able to call her his own for a month. But last time, she lied to me about going back to him. I opted to put aside my frustration because, with or without a protective friend on her side, he would go back to his old ways. She needed a confidant who would refuse to see him through rose-colored lenses. Their relationship manifested a disaster masquerading as “love” to everyone around her. Can you realistically talk someone out of your own idea of love, when such an ideal convention is painted as passion outweighing logic?

Right now, I’m thinking about this pivotal phase of my life. I’m living on my own for the first time (not with my family, and not in a dorm), and I don’t have a car for transportation. I, a comfortable-middle-class West Omaha girl, am living in a low-income neighborhood and am the only female in my house. This newfound autonomy is strange yet pleasantly liberating, not liberating in the “Yay I’m on my own, no rules!” sense, but in the sense that I’m learning how to adapt (while most of my friends are back home with their families for the Summer). I guess the pivotal part is that I’m okay in this new setting.

Actually, I just spotted a respectably sized black spider right next to the outlet in which I need to plug my laptop charger. I demanded that one of my roommates supervise while I banged against the wall to put the little devil in a more preferable fatal swat position. I carried out the plan, only to have the spider not scurry up the wall but jump off of it, as well as my roommate scurry up the stairs in record speed.  I’m immersing myself in a wholly unfamiliar milieu that is the unadulterated antithesis of de facto segregated West Omaha. Further, all members of my household, regardless of gender (as if that were a coding for fear of specific stimuli), are paralyzed with fear of an organism that is exponentially smaller than one of us alone.

My home community personally epitomizes “bittersweet.” It’s so easy to forget the collective and individual hardships of your loved ones when you depart to college. Then, when you visit, you’re simultaneously relieved by the heartwarming familiarity and flooded with the realities you left behind.

Part 2:

What is the relationship between “hard work,” societies that insist its value, and mental health? This is a critical question with various branches of relevance and without a definitive answer. I chose this question (which will need refining) because the promise of reward on which functioning societies hinge is objective in theory, but the “hard work” that is validated by reward is subjective in practice. I’m aware that this sounds a bit Marxist, but I believe that this relationship poses a unique challenge for Millennials. As we are so often reminded, Millennials are a coddled generation, with helicopter parents and irritatingly high expectations. We find the prospect of starting at the bottom of a company’s ladder and “working our way up” like our parents did to be unappealing at best and unfulfilling at worst. We refuse to accept the custom that “doing what you love” and financial security are mutually exclusive; we have also witnessed a recession, which made clear that “hard work” worthy of reward transcends elbow grease. Reality has evidenced that hard work is subject to rigorous standards, which have somehow taken the form of elite club sports and prestigious schools. The problem is that an unprecedented number of Millennials are willing to do whatever it takes to meet those standards. This question is relevant to me because I succumbed to a pervasive overachiever culture that was the norm at my college preparatory high school. Despite my unconditional love for the pursuit of knowledge, the pressure of getting into an elite college so that I could get into an elite law school so that I could actually make it as a lawyer so that I could fulfill my dream—to be a firm advocate for victims of sexual assault in the courtroom—college applications reduced me to numbers, to my high school statistics. My mental health suffered inexplicably, and I am not alone. And it actually gets worse than America; test scores matter so much in many Asian countries with advanced economies to the extent that student suicide rates soar when the crucial test results arrive. We are the future of this world, and we coddled, naïve Millennials are in reality willing not only to meet but to attempt to exceed the impossibly high standards of hard work that societal expectations tell us is worthy of reward.  This critical question is applicable on a personal, national, and global level; it concerns the value of education for its own sake, the financial burden of higher education before school even begins, and a societal stigma surrounding mental illness. There is no definitive answer to my critical question, but it addresses various branches of relevance that can shed a different shade of light on this important discussion. In a personal conclusion, I wholeheartedly believe that education is one of the most beautiful, beneficial, and critical aspects of humanity; both seeing and experiencing it bound and gagged by the increasingly heavy pressure to succeed moves me ask why.

Introduction

My name is Julianne Faur, and I will begin my second year at UNL in the Fall. Writing feels natural to me, an action that screams sheer humanity. From a young age, I was taught by my English-major parents that writing is not something about which to get nervous, but rather, to embrace. As a young girl, I was scarcely nervous about anything; my outspoken demeanor, in fact, typically earned me more disdain from adults than respect. For example, I vividly recall my nine-year-old tomboy self playing a heated game of soccer on the playground with all the boys, only to be interrupted by Sister Ann, who commanded that girls and boys were no longer allowed to play together at recess. My indignation fell upon indifferent ears, and I was rendered a nascent feminist without a proper mechanism for dissent.

Fast forward to high school, wherein the cerebral tools of critical thought dropped into my longing lap. Liberated, I could finally organize my questions and inform my own answers; I discovered that no one could interrupt my line of thought in an essay. But truthfully, I required a bit of discipline; fortunately, I found a place on the speech team as a competitor in Persuasive Speaking. I composed my first speech about the lack of women in American politics with upmost enthusiasm, convinced that any dissenting tournament judge would be a sexist. However, I was now not only constrained by a ten-minute time limit and presentation of solid evidence, but also by the technical norms of Persuasive Speaking. A winning speech would also require: a topic that was unique, highly agreeable, and too vague to come with a solution that could be pragmatically implemented; memorable jocularity, effectively eliminating the plethora of somber issues facing the world today; and an impassioned personal anecdote intended to amplify the urgency of the speech topic. Frustrated but also grossly competitive, I would devise a winning speech to go out of high school speech with nothing less than an deafening bang. So I slaved over my masterpiece about political ignorance in America; as it turned out, I won the first tournament of the season. But my glory high immediately plummeted when the girl who had also written a speech about women in politics last season somehow wound up with a speech about political ignorance in America. Once she started beating me, I knew I needed to write an entirely different masterpiece. I wrote at least five different speeches, each of which could not live up to my own standards; then, crippling anxiety and subsequent panic attacks ended my speech career.  I never thought that writing would be something about which I would get so painfully nervous.

At present, both my writing and I have come a long way. Intellectually stimulating classes and zealous professors comprised a welcoming environment that challenged me to produce my best writing as a college student. I can finally articulate my concerns for feminism, homophobia, the rule of law, and the problem with a generally uninformed citizenry in a democracy, never mind a global super power like the United States. Currently, I write to discern a perceived disconnect: America in theory versus America in practice; a “colorblind” justice system and a shocking trend of dead, unarmed black men at the hands of police officers; and, ultimately, a country in which equality is entirely feasible yet disappointingly unlikely because there is no clear consensus as to whether or not the current state of the social union is a problem. I write to shed light on the profound grey areas permeating the dignity of my generation. Writing to address such topics no longer makes me nervous. In fact, the only thing I am afraid of is failing to do so.